Chapter 3

Chapter 3:
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She couldn't believe he actually let her go. She kept waiting for his headlights behind her, slowing the car, pleading with her to please get in and don't leave. She craved the safety of his arms and the feeling of complete serenity of his mouth on hers. She instantly regretted her decision and stopped her bike. "Christina, you are a moron". That was the understatement of the century. She looked behind her at how far she had gone and from a distance saw his tail lights heading the other way. He was really letting her go. Her heart ached to be with him again. But then reality set in. This was who she was. She was a nomad who had spent way too much time in one place. She regretted hurting that man, but not from anything he might have done. What she regretted was letting him think she would stay. She regretted leading him on. And when she finally started pedaling again, she regretted every centimeter of distance she put between them. But it was time for a new adventure, and the bus station wasn't too far away. She was ready to see her best friend and lose herself in the warmth of the beach and the warm sun and palm trees.

Her tears were completely dry as she finally made it to the bus station in Hallowell, Maine and grabbed her seat. She got a seat right in the front, behind the driver. It was roomy enough to where she could have her bike in front of her and not taking up room at another seat. Nobody complained either, it looked to be a full bus and she would have felt worse if someone couldn't sit down because of her. Her eyes were closed before the driver was even on the road.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The vision came to her as if out of nowhere. She had seen this place before, it was the one place her mind often came to in her dreams. The house itself wasn't all that spectacular, at least not from the outside. It was the one modest looking house in a sea filled with overdone mansions with gates blocking their driveways. This house was at the end of the street and it was all hers. She opened the door and she was instantly home. The interior was classic South Florida design, tile floor upon entering the foyer and carpet in the living room. The house was decorated in her favorite style: the beach. Pictures of her and her friends at different beaches, pictures of waves, bottles of sand, sea glass, shells. There was even some sand in the floor, but she didn't mind. For the first time in her entire life she didn't want to run. She called her mom to tell her that she could officially send her mail to this address...

BUMP!!!

The beautiful memory was suddenly fading, her vision that was so real she could practically taste it was getting farther away from her.

BUMP!!

With a jolt, she woke up. She had no idea how long she'd been asleep for, but her muscles were screaming at her for being in one place for too long. She looked out the window but she couldn't see much--it was still black outside. She turned her cell phone on and immediately regretted her decision. First off, it was way past her bedtime--2am. If only she could at least check out the scenery it would make the time pass quicker. She thought about chucking her phone in the trash at the next rest stop but she had to keep it so her people knew she was safe. It was the only modern convenience she allowed herself to have. One thing she learned from being on the road--not everyone was blessed with a family and awesome friends who actually cared about them. Her unit supported her decision under one circumstance... She at least gets a cell phone so everyone can keep in touch with her. As long as she didn't have to pay the bill, she was fine with it. She was going to go for one of the cheapest phones she could find so she didn't have to worry about dropping it, but a few of her friends gave her a few of their old cell phones that were a little dated but still worked. They figured that if one of them broke, she always had a spare. This one was a Sidekick and so far, she wasn't hating it. At least not until she saw Jimmy's name pop up on the screen.
She let her phone do its thing for a while (she had had it off for such a long time she had started to get some panicky texts, mostly from her mother), watching in awe as every few seconds another message alert popped up on the screen. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity (but only ended up being about 2 minutes), the phone finally calmed down. Taking a deep breath, she checked out her texts one by one, purposely leaving a few for last.

The first one she checked was from her mother. That should be the safest of all. She opened the envelope. Crap, it was from yesterday. "hey kiddo, just seeing how your trip is going, say hi to Jimmy for me." christina's heart twinged when she read the name of the man she loved and therefore had to leave behind. Looking outside to the night sky for comfort, she opened the next envelope. "sweetie, you okay? It's noon here and no one has heard from you. I'm starting to worry." Christina sighed as she checked to see how many more frantic texts her mother had sent over the past day. Luckily there wasn't very many, only at least 20. She scrolled down to the last one, the one she felt would be the worst one yet. "honey. I spoke to Jimmy and he told me you left? Thank you for telling me." Great. Guilt. Way to go, mom! With a deep sigh and a disdain for modern technology, she hit reply and started typing. "mom, it's me. I'm okay, on a bus to Samantha's place in boynton beach. I will text again when I'm closer." With that she pressed send and watched the road for a bit before dozing off again.

She was just getting to sleep again when her phone woke her up. Like an idiot she completely forgot to quiet her phone down. The lightness of her seat suggested she had been asleep longer than she thought. A sign on the side of the road read, "welcome to North Carolina."
"wow," Christina thought. "we are making great time. I wonder when we're gonna stop to eat."

Then she remembered why she was awake. Oh yeah, her loud cell phone. Looking down, she saw that she had 15 new messages and one missed call from her mom. Good thing she wasn't the one paying the bill. Looking in her now slightly less noisy (and obnoxious) inbox, what she saw caused her heart to jump and her stomach to drop into the floor. It was a text from Jimmy, one she couldn't bear to delete. She decided to delete the ones from earlier, figuring he was done with her and just saying more of the same. She couldn't figure out what more he had to say to her since she watched him drive off in the opposite direction, not trying to find her and keep her from getting on that bus. But would it have stopped her? She knew in her heart what kind of person she was, and she truly believed that he deserved to be with someone who would never do something like this to him. Out of curiosity more than anything else, she opened his text. "hello, my beautiful Christina. You probably deleted my last text messages, and that's okay. I just wanted to tell you that I meant what I said. I love you. I'm sorry if that made you run away. But I won't stop loving you, no matter what. Wherever you end up, I will find you.  Goodbye for now.".

Christina looked up to see the sun begin to rise across the horizon. Not many cars were out at this hour, but she was glad to see that they weren't the only ones on this seemingly endless road. If other cars were around, it meant wherever she was was rooted in some form of civilization.  In her head only she existed. In the real world she could get lost in the faces of strangers and still feel like she belonged. Right now she belonged to the bus filled with strangers either still sleeping or just waking up. The Christina of yesterday was back in Maine, in that hotel room, breaking up with the man who had just professed his love for her. This Christina was reading his words, and letting them soak in to some foreign part of her, yet letting their meaning wash over her. The Christina he knew was gone. She only existed in that world with him. Now she was the girl who was still running, and she knew she belonged on that bus headed to see her best friend. She should probably text her and let her know that she was on her way.

Before she could do anything, her cell vibrated in her hand. Looking down, she was surprised to see a text from her bff. "just heard the news, hope you know you're always welcome here."
Christina answered back with wild fingers. "was hoping you'd say that, I'm actually on a bus right now." "oh yeah? Where you at?"
Christina looked around to see "north Carolina" signs everywhere still. "north Carolina."
"so, you'll get here within the next day or so."
"guess so."
"okay, just text me when you get closer."
"will do."

With that, Christina shut her phone off. She didn't have her charger around and she didn't have the energy to go obsessing about where it was, either. She made a pillow out of her jacket, stared out the window and let her eyes get heavy and finally shut.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
she was in her house again. She was in the exact same place, could still feel the salty ocean air on her skin. She trailed her fingers along the wallpapered walls... She must not have been living there long. She came across a room she knew upon instinct to be her room. It didn't feel like there was a man sharing her bedroom, what she would be looking at was all hers. She opened the door to find a room that was exactly like hers back home. It had her jewelry boxes, her grandmother's wardrobe, and tons of pictures of her and her best friend and her niece. She went over to the bed which she recognized was a California King and as she got closer she could see that her comforter was a quilt made of things she had collected on her road trip. Every piece of scrap she had saved went into that quilt, every state line she had crossed, every man she left, every beautiful sunset she witnessed. Most of these pieces were pictures she had taken on the road, some old shirts, some other souvenirs she had procured along the way.
She touched every inch, remembering the blue of the sky, her aching legs from miles of pedaling, the touch of his lips... Wait.
What was Jimmy doing here? How could he be turned into quilt material already?

The very thought made her eyes pop open. The sun was finally all the way out and she could see the beautiful landscape from her window. She didn't know just how much farther she had to go, but maybe if she had a conversation with the bus driver, she could find out what roads to stay on. She didn't want to be cooped up on this bus any longer. She wanted to have her backpack on her back, her bike and the open road underneath her, feel the sun on her skin, and go the rest of the way at her own pace. She decided that at the next stop she would talk to the driver and hope he was nice enough to help her out.