Chapter 9

Chapter 9:
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At the first hint of sunlight, she opened her eyes a crack. She had a dreamless sleep, the first one since leaving Jimmy. She felt great though, as if she had finally slept all night. She opened her eyes all the way and realized she was still on Ryan's chest. It was so nice of him to stay with her and let her sleep in such a position and not even try anything. A piece of her felt at home here, and could really see herself putting down roots in this house. She smiled at the thought. She felt a slight tapping on her head. "you awake?" Ryan asked softly. "getting there," Christina answered back, her throat incredibly dry.
She opened her eyes fully after a minute of protest, her eyelids still incredibly heavy. When she looked around the room she could see that it looked so different in the sunlight. Besides all of the pillows they were laying on and the stacks of movies, there was something a little off-putting. She glanced around the room, studying all the little figurines and pictures collecting dust in their frames. Much like the bedroom Ryan had showed her that she did not want to sleep in, the rest of the house was still exactly the same, as if it was just waiting for the people in the pictures to come home.
Suddenly, instead of feeling warm and welcome, all she wanted to do now was get the hell out of there. How could she think about putting roots down in a place that was not meant for her? She suddenly felt incredibly foolish.
Ryan immediately felt the shift in the air. He knew she had to leave soon, but he couldn't put his finger on what the problem was. Even though they had spent the night together, ultimately nothing had happened so there was nothing she should be ashamed or embarrassed about. And yet he couldn't help but noticed the splash of crimson that suddenly appeared on her cheeks. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he gently coaxed her to turn around and look at him. "hey," he said softly. "what's wrong?"
Christina could feel her throat tighten as she attempted to speak. How could she tell him what she had been thinking? But he had been so kind to her when he didn't have to be that she felt like she had to say something. She could feel her old self screaming not to let him in. He had already seen too much. But suddenly all she wanted to do was pour her heart out to this gentle creature and tell him what was going on.
"I feel so stupid," she started. "I was beginning to feel like I belonged here or something. And then I looked around and saw all the pictures and knew that wasn't true. Do you hate me now?"
Ryan's eyes widened. She was the first woman he had taken home in a very long time, and certainly the only one that really meant anything. Sure, they had only known each other for a couple of days now, but he felt like she had already belonged with him. And yet he knew that if she stayed there, it was only a matter of time before she felt frantic again, and it would be harder on him when she finally did leave. He knew that if she was going to feel any sense of peace, she needed to finish her journey. And if she came back on her own, then that would be right.
He could feel his own throat tighten up, making it very difficult for him to say what he needed to. But he knew that it was the right thing to do. "Christina, listen to me." she gave him all of her attention as he continued on. "ever since you started chatting me up on that bus, I have felt incredibly blessed. And now that you're here I can see how special you are. You will always have a home here. But you know as well as I do that you can't stay here now. You have to see your best friend and have that time with her and I and this house will be here when you come back, if you decide to."
Christina nodded. He was right. She gave him a huge hug before getting up. "can I take a shower at least before I go?"
"of course, and then I will take you out for some breakfast so you are ready for your trip."
Christina smiled at him as she nodded again, her stomach suddenly growling angrily and her brain in much need of some yummy coffee. In a flash she was looking through her bag for some clean clothes, realizing too late that she was quickly running out. "hmmmm.... Maybe I can bring breakfast to you while you get cleaned up and do some laundry?" Ryan asked.
Christina beamed at this as she found her last clean outfit: a purple v-neck T-shirt with skeletons, bikini cut undies with a butterfly on the butt, and a pair of olive green cargo pants. It wasn't the best combination, but it would have to do.
"I will take a French vanilla coffee with two creams and two sugars," she said. "consider it done!" Ryan answered as he grabbed his keys.
Christina's stomach was seriously protesting as she put her laundry in the wash first before getting in the shower. By the time she was done, the first load would be done and ready to dry. Then they'd have breakfast and then maybe have time for a movie before everything was finished. And then she'd finally be off.