Chapter 6

Chapter 6:
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The road was quietly spread out before Christina. The countryside was a beautiful array of cornfields and farms, on a backdrop of clear blue sky.  She was so glad she had chosen to get out of her home and see the beautiful landscape.  Her new friend was asleep in the backseat, and his car drove like it was brand new even though the upholstry had seen better days.  She wondered why a guy living in Savannah, Georgia, would choose to be on the road 200+ days a year, but the question made her look at her own life.  How had she gotten here?
She thought back on her last serious relationship, the one that made her run.  He was the love of her life.  Her best friend.  When she thought of him now, she often wondered, "what in the hell happened?"  He wasn't the most social guy, but that didn't matter to her.  He was funny, had had a wicked sense of humor that was one of the things that initially attracted her to him.  He had a very sensitive side, one she was sure not everyone could see but she could see it in the way he took care of his animals.  He had 3 cats, and 1 dog that was a giant black ball of crazy.  Her heart ached for that dog, and she could feel a tear rising as she thought of how she loved spending the night squished in between her man and his dog.  Her two men, she would often say.
He lived simply, not needing a lot of space to live but just something to call his own.  He had just moved into his own apartment when they started dating and a part of her felt like his place was also hers because she had helped him move into it.  Their relationship wasn't defined at this point, but she was just so happy to be with someone she felt wasn't like the rest.  This one was "different."

The beginning of their relationship was a far cry from what it turned into near the end.  Although she tried remaining positive, she could feel their connection slipping farther and farther away and she had no idea why.  He still seemed like he loved her and wanted to be with her, yet he was okay with not seeing her.  And it wasn't like they lived very far apart.  In fact, she could walk over to his house if she wanted to.  Many nights she would pray for him before going to sleep.  She would try to make sense in her head the many questions she still to this day never really got the answers for.  Like why he started.

She knew he had a bit of a past with drugs.  He claimed to research everything that he put into his body beforehand so he would know exactly what to expect from each drug.  And he only did drugs when wanting to expand his mind.  He bragged to have had more experiences in his life than any other human being, but Christina doubted that anyone who has never been in an airplane before has had more experiences than anyone who had been and could travel.  She knew that just going to the airport alone was an experience.
The drugs he did were mainly for experiemental use only, and by the time she had met him he had told her that while he was always up for a new experience, he had his choices that he preferred and barely did them anymore.  So when the subject of heroin came up, she was not expecting to be so uncomfortable about the topic, even in conversation.

Christina could remember the first time she saw him. She had been in her favorite place in the world, her local library. She was in a big comfy chair in front of a fire place reading a book when he sat down beside her. She was so engrossed in her book she didn't even notice that for the first 20 minutes he had sat down next to her, he didn't even open the book sitting on his lap.
She lifted her neck to stretch it when she noticed him staring at her. He didn't even try to play it like he hadn't been staring. Instead he smiled at her and started with what had been on his mind for the past 20 minutes. "hello. You are gorgeous. I'm Ben, it's nice to meet you." Christina was so stunned she could feel her face flushing a deep shade of crimson. Was he crazy? She was wrapped up in her favorite jacket, torn jeans, not-even-brushed pony tail, and glasses because she was too lazy to put in her contacts. As a photographer she barely got days off but when she did, she wasn't out to impress anyone.
She had two choices. She could give him the stink eye and put her nose back into her book and ignore him completely, or she could smile back at him. She gave him the once over. He looked a little scruffy, but in a sexy nerd kind of way. Although his clothing choice made her wonder if he had just rolled out of bed, the generous amount of gel in his hair told her otherwise. Looking into his electric green eyes she felt instantly at home, like she had just ran into an old friend. She reached out her hand and introduced herself to him. "the name's Christina.  Nice to meet you."
For the next few months, they were inseparable.

Christina had always said that it was that feeling you got when you were sinking into bed at the end of the night. Wrapped up in your favorite sheets, snuggling with that ratty old Teddy bear your first exboyfriend got for you at the fair when you were 14 that you never had the heart to throw away with nowhere to be in the morning. That's what it felt like every moment she was with Ben. She woke up to good morning texts every morning, and every day while they were apart they would text each other and send pictures. Each night they would talk for hours until one of them passed out. Their schedules were a bit different so they couldn't always see each other; he was an IT guy for a computer company and she was a photographer who sometimes had long distance assignments, but they made it work.

Then one day it all changed. Christina had been out on assignment and hadn't heard from her boyfriend all day. She texted him to say goodnight the previous evening but she never heard back. She told herself that it was nothing, he'd get back to her when he could. He was a little stressed out at work and when she left, something had been different.
When she got home, she texted him telling him she was and asked if he wanted to hang out. "maybe tomorrow, not feeling good tonight," was all he wrote before disappearing again.
It went on like this for a while. Sometimes he'd talk her ear off and they would talk about everything and it would be like old times. As soon as she could feel herself breathing again, she could tell that the wind would change. He would get short with her. He would tell her things that didn't make sense. He would get sick and not see her for weeks on end.
On the outside, she was trying to keep it together. Her friends would ask her what happened to Ben and she'd make up something like he wasn't feeling well or had to work, all the while wondering herself what wad going on.
She decided to do a little detective work. Instead of texting him that she was coming for a visit, she drove over to his apartment complex. Her heart pounded as she took in a deep breath and tried calming her nerves. She kept telling herself that she had nothing to worry about, that absolutely nothing was going on. She said it to herself all the way to his bathroom window, before sneaking up to it to peek in.
Ben didn't live on the good side of town. In fact, his apartment complex was way too overpriced for an efficiency, but he could afford it if he kept his expenses low. It didn't make sense to her that a guy who was making as much as he was couldn't afford a real place but he kept telling her that this was only temporary, he'd only be there for a year before getting a real house with a yard for his dog.
Even though it wasn't the best place, she was welcomed by the neighbors. Everyone knew her as Ben's lady and looked out for her, chatted with her and were generally a friendly lot.
She decided on the bathroom first because she could just take a peek. The bathrooms were in the back and there was a little block so you couldn't exactly see your way to the front door. If there was anything to be seen or heard, there was no hiding it from her at that point.
She tried to act natural before approaching the window she knew to be his, before crouching down. The last thing she needed was his half chow, half German Shepard mix Hunter spotting her and barking at her. Crouching down she couldn't see anything, but she sure could hear something.
She heard her boyfriend's voice, sounding a little bit too frantic. He sounded like he was in a bit of a panic. He was definitely on the phone, she couldn't hear anyone else's voice. Feeling brave, she peeked her head above the brick wall and saw something disturbing: a needle on the bathroom counter. Right next to it was a spoon that looked like it had been burned, a lighter, and some tin foil. She also saw what looked like to be blood on the toilet seat.
She had been to his apartment a million times and had never seen any of this. Her brain refused to comprehend what she was seeing until she heard him screaming. "Nobody stole your $100, I just lost it. How dare you call me a junkie! I only use heroin for pain, you know that. Christina knows I use and she's okay with it, why can't you be?"
Christina is what?!?!!? Christina's ears were ringing so loudly she couldn't hear whatever else he was saying. Heroin?!?! Like FUCK she knew he was using it. She knew she didn't have a lot of time so she got out her cell phone. With shaky hands she took a picture of the bathroom before sinking back onto the ground and remaining there until a loud thump landed her back into the moment.

Coming up slowly, she could see her boyfriend sitting on the toilet. He didn't feel bothered by the fact that the blinds were up and the window was wide open. Peaking her head into the window she could see that he wasn't even paying attention to the window.
His hand was fixing the heroin, he was paying attention to not burning his hands while cooking the heroin on the cooking spoon. She watched in horror as he made his fix. She could guess that this is where his friend's money went. She watched as he sucked all the heroin into the needle from the spoon, watched as he tried to find a vein, watched him miss a couple. He was so out of it he didn't realize she was watching him until the needle found what it had been searching for and he lifted his head in euphoria.
They locked eyes for a second. Fumbling for her phone, Christina finally managed to get it out and snap a picture of him in all his glory before giving him the finger, walking away and climbing into her car. Before she stuck around long enough for him to find her, she put the keys in the ignition, put the car in reverse, and got the hell out of there.
For the entire drive home, she felt like she was in someone else's body. What had she just witnessed? Her boyfriend shooting up heroin? Not only that, listening to him tell someone else that she knew about it? On what planet would she knowingly date a heroin addict? Clearly this had gone beyond any experimental or pain management route. She had witnessed him shooting up in front of her while he didn't even notice that she was there. He didn't even bother hiding it, either. She didn't know whether or not she wanted to cry or throw up. One thing was for sure, she couldn't stay with him.

He didn't call right away. In fact, he left her alone for a whole 48 hours before suddenly bombarding her with phone calls and texts. She didn't answer any of them. What was there to say? Then, as quickly as the calls had come in, they stopped.
As much as she hated to do it, she had to know for sure. She had to see for herself. She had been in bed for a week, barely able to put herself together, but something in her bones was pushing her to go to his apartment.
It was dark and cold by the time she got into her car, but the adrenaline was pumping so fast in her veins that she barely noticed. It only took two minutes to drive to his apartment. By the time she got there she knew something was horribly wrong.
She practically sprinted to apartment number 5. She could hear Hunter braking frantically. Before she even realized what she was doing, she found the key to his apartment and was unlocking the door.
In an instant, she regretted her decision. Hunter was covered in blood and was tracking it everywhere. She finally got him to calm down. After calming the dog down, she called 911. There was no salvaging this. But she knew she had to do something, after not returning any of his calls or texts. While still on the phone with 911, she gave her location and the scene. "apartment is filthy, dog bloody, human not found yet." how could he not be found in this tiny apartment? And then it dawned on her... The bathroom. The woman on the phone instructed her to step as lightly as she could. Suddenly she saw feet. She gave out a little gasp. "what is it?" asked the woman on the phone. "I think I found... I found..." and then everything went black.